If It Walks Like A Duck by Ira Schwartz

Today, it is almost impossible to go through the day without hearing the term “Politically Correct” at least a dozen times. It is a phrase we’ve taken for granted and it is a phrase that in itself is Politically Incorrect”.

The Webster’s Dictionary defines “Politically Correct” as: a term used to describe language, ideas, policies, or behavior seen as seeking to minimize offence to groups of people. So basically you’re insulting them but….doing it nicely.

Today “Politically Correct” has become the watch word in the present administrations vocabulary. According to a memo sent to senior Pentagon staff, “this administration prefers to avoid using the term Long War or Global War on Terror (Gwot) ... please pass this on to your speechwriters". Instead it is now called "overseas contingency operations". I wonder who thought that one up.

“Islamic Extremist” is now a “Violent Extremist”. Guess we wouldn’t want to upset the Islamic Extremists would we.

Individual acts of terrorism will now be referred to as “Man-caused disasters”. Like a forest fire or an oil spill. Gotcha.

But this goes way past the White House and has entrenched itself deep in the fabric of our society. With the utmost respect to George Carlin, here are seven words that are no longer “Politically Correct”

“Merry Christmas” has been replaced with “Happy Holidays”

“Christmas Tree” is out “Holiday Tree” in

Close the book on “Nursery Rhymes” it’s now “Children’s Stories”. Has anyone told Mother Goose?

Here’s a good one: “Founders” instead of “Founding Fathers”. I guess they thought it was sexist.

“Undocumented Immigrants” instead of “Illegal Aliens”. Guess that one needed to be changed because of the run on Food Stamps by the Klingon Empire.

“Physically Challenged” instead of “Handicapped”. Just think of the money it will cost to change all those signs.

And “Economically Disadvantaged Area” instead of “Ghetto”. How about we just get rid of the Ghetto’s. Oops, I mean “Economically Disadvantaged Areas”.

Here are three more to round the list to an even ten.

“Visibly Challenged” instead of “Blind”

“Alternative Sexual Lifestyle” instead of gay or lesbian. The homophobes must love that one.

And “Improvised Explosive Device” (IED) instead of “Road Side Bomb” (RSB).

Even major retailers like Target have jumped on the “Politically Correct” band wagon this “holiday” season. All Target’s flyers and ads sell Christmas lights, trees and ornaments but nowhere is the word “Christmas” mentioned. Who are they worried about offending? Next they’ll want to change “A Christmas Carol” to “A Holiday Carol”. Bahh Humbug!!!

What I want to know is who is responsible for saying what is politically correct and what is not. Like Monty Python’s “Ministry of Silly Walks” is there a “Bureau of Politically Correct” tucked away somewhere in the bowels of the capitol. Or is that “digestive tract” of the capitol. Where a Director of Vernacular, Vernacular Engineer, sits around all day and just thinks up alternate words for phrases he deems offensive.

But let’s take this one step further. When did this all begin? According to the renowned Wikipedia, “during the First World War, British Ministry of Information official (I knew there was a Ministry of something involved) Arnold Bennett used the expression politically correct in vetting language for “appropriateness”. They continue, “Widespread use of the term "politically correct" and its derivatives began when it was adopted as a pejorative term by the political right in the 1990s. “Pejorative”, now there’s a Politically Correct word if I ever heard one. And the rest is history.

It appears in today’s society you can’t open your mouth without offending someone somewhere. And that is sad. Sanitation Engineer, Educational Instructor, Administrative Assistant; the list goes on and on. When did people become so dissatisfied with what they do and who they are that they felt the need to adjust the language to make them feel better about themselves? It may sound good but doesn’t change the fact a “spade is still a spade”. Or is that a “digging implement is still a digging implement”?

BREAKING NEWS

I’m sure all of you have seen the ads by AARP in favor of the Presidents Healthcare Reform Bill now in the Senate. I always wondered why they continue to do this even though a majority of seniors are not in favor of this Bill. Now we know why. According to the administrations website, Recovery.gov, AARP was given 18 million dollars in stimulus money to create jobs for seniors. The report listed on the website(link below) clearly shows that even though 6.5 million has already been spent AARP has managed to produce “no” jobs.

According to “Politico” AARP has moved on to lobbying for passage of health care legislation, even though Democratic proposals have called for several hundred billion dollars in cuts to Medicare, a program that the group typically defends tooth and nail when Republicans propose cutting it. A recent Pew survey found that just 31 percent of those over 65 supported health care legislation being touted by AARP.

“The American Spectator” goes on to say, “AARP is also in a position to benefit financially if the health care legislation passes, because seniors losing benefits as a result of cuts to Medicare Advantage will be forced to buy Medigap policies, which is the main source of AARP revenue.”

Well now we know the truth. AARP is just another example of a large corporation flushing its members down the political drain for its own financial benefit. Several of my friends have called AARP and cancelled their membership. If money is the only thing they understand maybe a lot more members need to do this.

http://www.recovery.gov/transparency/pages/RecipientProjectSummary508.aspx?AwardIdSur=40264&AwardType=Grants

© 2009 by Ira Schwartz. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission